Woah There

Today, I spoke on the phone with the Nastiest Woman Alive. I had to call another federal agency to check whether this guy had done something so I could check off a box. I innocently dialed the number listed on my form and asked to speak with him. The woman who answered was like “This is not his personal cell phone!!!” I was like I’m sorry, do I sound like a prostitute? And in any case, are you his wife? Is this how you always answer your work phone?

So I said “I’m calling from the US Dept of Miracles, Office of Very Important Programs and I need to find out if one of his employees has done the thing he was supposed to do.” And she said “THIS IS A BUSINESS PHONE!!!” Really? Is it? Then maybe you should ACT PROFESSIONAL WHEN YOU ANSWER IT???? What is it you imagine a business phone is USED for? And are you, by any chance, on work release from the local insane asylum??

So I told her that, in fact, I was also calling from a business phone for a business purpose and could she possibly give me the number of someone who could provide me with the information I needed since she obviously did not have it. So she did. Then I asked her what her name was, and how to spell it, and what her supervisor’s name was, and how to spell that, and what his phone number was, and if he was in at the moment. And she started to say something nasty again and I was like “Look, I’m sorry if you’re having a bad day, but I’m just trying to do my job, and that means I need to hang up now.” Click.

What a nasty bitch! I couldn’t believe it! And she works for the very crappiest, lowliest agency there is (think: x-ray machines) so I cannot imagine where she developed that attitude. I got HIVES from having to talk to her! HIVES!!! That means I could sue her for intentional infliction of emotional distress, right?! Maybe I will if class tonight is really boring.