Dammit

I think I need to break up with Boyfriend, but it would be so hard to disentangle our lives that I don't know if I can do it. Aside from the obvious emotional issues, there's all this financial crap. I've been living with him for a year and a half, so we have a lot of shared stuff. I bought tickets for some trips we are supposed to go on in the next two months and put them on my credit card and haven't gotten his half of the cash yet. But the worst part is that we "bought" the house together and that's a total mess.

What actually happened, in that technical legal sense, is that HE bought a house and I have stupidly been contributing money to it. So I'm not on the deed or the mortgage or anything. I'm not sure how that happened. I was so busy at school and his father was being really pushy and he has savings and I have debt and he has a job and I have none and all of a sudden he had a house and I had nothing.

We have a contract that I wrote that is probably void for vagueness or unenforceable as against public policy or a violation of the 13th Amendment or something that we never even signed. It was supposed to say that I paid 1% and he paid 19% and we're splitting the mortgage/taxes/insurance, and if we break up I can get back whatever my contribution was adjusted for any increase or decrease in the value of the house.

The big problem is that right now the house is gutted. We've been having problems for a long time, so at one point a few months ago I was yelling at him to give me my money back so I could move out and he was like "I don't owe you anything because the house is worthless right now." Which I suppose is technically what the contract says. So I've been thinking I would try to stick it out until the house if finished and then try to get my money back, perhaps trying to get him to sit down and sign the contract along the way without it seeming like I'm about to break up with him. But it would really be better if I could just get out now.

The other thing is his father is kind of a jerk, and I'm SURE he would push Boyfriend to fight me in court to relive his own brutal divorce where he got totally creamed. And Boyfriend still has savings and I still have nothing, so he could get a good lawyer and I'd be down at legal aid trying to convince them that yes, I am below the poverty line even though I have a law degree and by the way do they happen to have any staff positions open?

So on top of being unemployed and not knowing whether I passed the awful bar exam, I'm in this great position where I either have to stay in a miserable relationship or take an almost $10,000 loss.

Yay!!!!!