Dentists = Drugs!!!

In other news, I'm getting a bionic tooth installed, which means drugs, Drugs, DRUGS!!! They, for unknown reasons, don't use gas at this office, which is horribly disappointing. Gas is key. I had something done last year, and my periodontist was a 1L (scary, non?) and he was like "Just wave your hand any time you need me to crank up the gas" so obviously I took full advantage of that situation, right up to the point where I was like woah...dude...maybe I need more oxygen in my...gassssssssssss.... And then there was the part where I stopped him in the middle to tell him about my favorite Torts dentist case, which involves "two teeth, fused to the bone, with some meat and chunks hanging off." Heh. I think I told him about my two favorite shark cases too. Then the whole rest of the time I couldn't stop thinking about how pretty and smart I was (completely gas-induced - not my normal state of mind), so overall, it was extremely pleasant.

But, alas, there's no gas at my new dentist. I think it's because periodontists mainly treat the extremely old, decrepit set. That does have its advantages though. When they did the first stage prep work back in May, they were shocked at how quickly I healed. The lady that took out my stitches called in two other people to see. It was great. I felt like someone from the X-men or something with super healing abilities.

But anyway, back to the gas, or, rather, the disappointing lack thereof. Instead, they're going to give me a bunch of Ambien. I was adamant that I needed something stronger than the Ativan they gave me for procedure #1 - they said I'd only need 2 of those, and I ended up having to take 4 just to stop crying hysterically so they could root around in my jaw. (Fortunately they had given me 6 - the remaining 2 being the ONLY reason I slept both nights before the cursed bar exam.) So the idea is I take 5mg of Ambien the night before, then 10mg one hour before my appointment.

Now I know my fellow bloggers are all Ambien fiends, so someone please tell me whether this is likely to have my desired effect - i.e., blissful unconciousness while they drill a big hole in my head.

And then, of course, post procedure I'll get a full bottle of our dear old friend Vicodin to get me through my depressed unemployment...erm... I mean through my post-procedure pain. This is less exciting to me than the Ambien. I've had so much freaking dental crap done in the last two years (the result of a bad fall) that I've got enough leftover Vicodin to take down a good sized horse, or small elephant. In case that ever comes up.

Incidentally, my fall is the #1 worst thing that's ever happened to me, but studying for the bar exam is #2.