More Dreams

It's not over. I had another bar nightmare last night. I dreamed I was writing essays for the longest time and that I had to come back the next day and write more. So I finally finished and was like oh thank god I'm so tired and went home. But when I got there I realized I had two of my test papers with me - not the essays themselves, but the paper I was supposed to write my essays on. I panicked for a whlie about whether I had even written the essays or just hallucinated the whole thing, but decided I did write them, just on the wrong paper. I knew they wouldn't grade something on the wrong paper, especially since we're not even allowed to bring in other paper, so I was flipping out trying to figure out how to get the paper to the graders. For some reason I was unconcerned about getting the essays onto the paper. What I eventually decided was to smuggle them back in wrapped around my legs under my pants and then try to slip them into my essay pile for that day. So I spent the rest of the dream stressing out about sticking them to my legs, getting to the center, waiting in the line, and then trying to casually roll up my pants and haul out contraband in the middle of the test. It was awful.

I think the worst part of these bar nightmares is you get that same life or death feeling you have when you have the dream that you're wrestling with the thing with the teeth and the red eyes that's trying to drag you back under the bed with it. And I can win at the fang/death dream. I can normally beat the crap out of whatever's trying to kill me. There's no beating the bar exam though. It's just such complete awful helplessness. Thank God this will all be over in... um... THREE freaking MONTHS. Ugh!