Dances With Crazies

In an odd twist of fate, my first appointment was with the financial aid lady from my law school. She apparently quit right after graduation because they pay slightly less than nothing. I asked if she could sneak back in quick and cancel my loans, and she said she'd see what she could do. So fingers crossed. She didn't like any of the places I showed her, but we spent an enjoyable 2 hours gossiping about who drinks what at what time of day in the administration.

My appointment last night, which sounded promising yesterday on the phone, turned out to be with this total nutjob queeny transvestite who wants to spend less than $1000 on a studio, but insists on bringing her king sized bed. She also kept me and the maintenance guy with the keys waiting for half an hour in a slightly sketchy neighborhood. So now I'm close, intimate friends with Phil, the Rebar guy. I know that he lived in a shelter for a while, was a drug addict for a while, and then learned to do construction and turned his life around.

I've got to start weeding these people out over the phone somehow. I have this great listing for a 1 bed for $950 that my phone is ringing off the hook about, and it's NICE for a place that cheap - its got a good sized living room with a bay window, a small bedroom, a full sized modern bathroom (and yes we do have *many* bathrooms that are *not* modern), a kitchen with full sized appliances, and two big closets. Plus it's on the second floor, not in the freaking basement, and there's loads of free street parking. And you can walk to a really nice area in about ten minutes. If I found it, I would be all over it for that price, or even for like $1100.

And yet, inexplicably, people come in and are like hmm... I wanted something huge like where I'm living in a luxury condo now with my four roommates. And it's like um, hello, are you STUPID??? You're paying $5000 for that thing! What in gods name makes you think you're going to find it in miniature for $950???

I was thinking I might start taking them to a $1250 place that's a total hole first and being like DO YOU SEE??? DO YOU SEE HOW THIS IS A RAT-INFESTED SYRIAN PRISON AND IT IS STILL OUT OF YOUR MINISCULE PRICE RANGE????? And then take them to the nice place and be like AND DO YOU LIKE THIS NICE PLACE IN YOUR PRICE RANGE NOW??? DO YOU???? WE HAVE WAYS OF MAKING YOU LIKE IT!!!!

I have an appointment tonight with someone who said they could pay a much more reasonable $1250, so we'll see how that goes. Someone told me that on average about 1 in 4 showings turn into rentals, and this is number 4.