Skinny, Depressed, and Worried

My school has posted a total of 5 jobs in Massachusetts for recent grads in October. One is for someone with 2-5 years of experience, like every other law job on earth. One is actually for a secretary, not a lawyer. One is in the western part of the state, which is so far away it might as well be in New York. That leaves two jobs, both of which are doing civil litigation, which may well turn out to be personal injury. I have applied for both of them, expressing my enthusiasm for whatever general thing it is they do. This is so goddamn depressing. Like really, really depressing. Like why do I bother to get out of bed and wash my hair when I'm just going to have to do it tomorrow so now it's been 5 days and I'm so filthy it's scary depressing. But, you know, mostly only theoretically since I go to work every day. So far.

In diet news, I've lost 8 pounds, so just 5 more to go. That's actually 4 pounds less than I've weighed since maybe high school, with the exception of the few months after my accident when I could only consume liquids and the time I had mono, both of which are exceptional diet aids. WW wants me to lose 10% of my starting weight, which seems a little excessive. I haven't weighed that little since probably middle school, and back then I didn't have boobs or a brain engorged by 7 years of expensive education (although I did have Big Hair and Huge Glasses - thank you early 90s!) I can't decide if I cheated or not though. The day I decided to go on a diet I happened to get on a scale and was 4 pounds heavier than normal. I don't know if that was a fluke or if the standard had actually been raised. So maybe I've only lost 4 pounds.

I've got my Halloween party to go to on Saturday. That should be a good time, but I'm more excited to give out candy on Tuesday, since I haven't gotten to do that since... 1997. God that's a long time. I'm worried though that people won't come to our house cause it's under construction and we don't have a porch light. We'll also be there working with power tools between visits. I have a string of pumpkin lights and a garland of bats and ghosts. I guess I could also make some cotton ball ghosts and get a pumpkin. I must find a way to make it clear that I have a bucketload of candy to give away to anyone who pounds on the door! I got the mini peanut butter cups too, which as far as I'm concerned are the best possible candy to receive. I'm worried that the two bags I got won't be enough though. I like how I can be simultaneously worried about two contradictory possibilities. Is that what they mean by thinking like a lawyer?