Do Over!

I just emerged from the pit of misery that is the BarBri practice MBE. I guess technically I almost passed, if all we really need is a 60%, but mostly I just feel like I was the lucky recipient of a colossal can of whoopass, which I decided to open and enjoy all at once. The secretive law student in me doesn’t want to say my actual score, but the anonymous part of me doesn’t really care. Hmm. I guess secretive law student me wins. Maybe I’ll feel more like saying after I see the average score.

Oh well whatever. I guess I’ll start studying “for real” after the long weekend. I plan to be thoroughly intoxicated for the next four days, in keeping with the Framers’ intent.

12 Step Bar Exam Method

I'm finding so many things fascinating that I wouldn't otherwise care about. Like the local news. I know all about what the City Council does now. And I'm suddenly so current on my correspondance. Not just email either - I've been mailing out handwritten notes. I even wrote to this girl I haven't spoken to for eight months to apologize (and for something that was totally not even my fault.) It's like I'm in AA or something. If I accept a higher power, will the bar exam go away?

Wish I Were A Llama

Maybe I'm just deluded, but I don’t feel like this bar exam stuff is very hard. I mean, law school was hard. Law school was like “read these 800 pages of poorly written judicial rambling and then write a 3 hour essay based on a cryptic comment I made in class one day! If you dare! Muahahaha!!!” But this is like “Number One – A, Number Two – B, etc.” And you just have to memorize everything and be like “Oh, look, Number One conspired with Number Two to smuggle in 90 kilos of cocaine from Mexico, so A, B, and conspiracy doesn’t merge!”

What scares me though is that I sucked at law school exams (in that special law school way where a B is a wretched failure) so I feel like I must be missing something. That's right, I'm scared that I should be more scared.

But then on the other hand, I don’t want to be one of those assholes who sits around all summer pondering whether llamas are domesticated and gets all the llama bite questions wrong.

Speaking of which, we had our last day of Torts lecture yesterday. I then came home and saw both Last Comic Standing and the pathetic Adam Sandler interview on the Daily Show, both of which are things you would imagine might contain some degree of comedy, but I swear to god the Torts lecturer was infinitely more funny than both of them. I even went so far as to prove my point by subjecting my boyfriend to my lame retelling of the pot smoking/exploding apartment hypo, although mine contained a tedious, protracted pause in the middle where I tried to explain the concept of stautory borrowing briefly and failed, thus murdering the poor story. Which was just more proof that the Torts guy is actually funny.

By way of contrast, we had our first Contracts lecture today, which was so tedious it caused me actual physical pain (intentional infliction of emotional distress anyone?). It's going to take some serious voluntary intoxication to compensate for that.

For a while I thought it was completely stupid that we were supposed to follow along and fill in the blanks in our Lecture Handouts book. But after two days of shameless web surfing when I should have been learning about Torts, I'm thinking maybe there's something to the handouts after all. I just hope they ask a lot of questions about little Shilo Nouvel Jolie-Pitt on the MBE. I guess it's sort of relevant to all that Invasion of Privacy stuff, but I don't know for sure, because I wasn't paying attention. A pox on you celebrity news! Why are you so much more interesting than the elements of a negligence claim?

Is it just me or is Property impossible? I've suffered through three days of BarBri lectures, a day of PMBR, and half of the PMBR tapes and I can't get more than 50% of the questions right. I can't even get more than 50% of the BarBri easy questions right. And when I look at the answers, they don't make sense. Especially the PMBR answers - I swear to god half the time the explanation is like "D because subjacent support means support from underneath the surface of the land" but the question was like "what is A's best argument for Nuisance." ARGH!!! NOT Helpful!!!

Plus I have a severe mental incapacity that will not allow me to learn about the Rule against Perpetuities. If there's a RAP violation, I can't see it, and then I always conjure one up when it's not there, with the fabulous result that I get every single question wrong. This is such BS! I've learned things that were so much harder before! I don't understand why my brain is betraying me now!

Oh, and did I mention that I actually got a better score on the PMBR practice test? Yeah - I got 65% right on that. That means I'm actually getting stupider as I go along. Why brain? Why!?!

It may ultimately cause me to fail the bar exam, but I just keep finding such interesting other things to do. Like opening a box I haven’t touched since I moved a year ago. Or learning about Massachusetts grants for renewable energy. Or rifling through the stuff I’m about to chuck in the recycling bin. My reward was this, from the Metro (the greatest news source on earth):

http://www.getdshirts.com/index.html

Apparently Screech’s house is being foreclosed on. He's now selling tshirts to raise money. No mention of where all that Saved by the Bell money went.

Oh god it's so freaking hot. It's over 90 outside, which means it's about 110 in my Easy Bake Apartment. This has got to be violating one of my constitutional rights. Maybe the Dormant Commerce Clause? I'm from out of state and Congress hasn't regulated heat waves. That sounds right. I'll sue the governor first thing in the morning.

I’m so stressed I’ve been clenching my jaw to the point that I'm in constant pain that wakes me up in the middle of the night. I’m going to the dentist on Wednesday to see if there’s anything they can do. If I’m really lucky, they might give me one of those super sexy mouth guards to wear at night. That would be awesome! Maybe I could even wear it right to the bar exam. That would be so hot. Be on the lookout for the girl drooling seductively on her Torts essay.

I keep seeing people socially and they are like “Oh, hi, how are you?” and I am gripped by this unseen force which compels me to tell them in detail about my bar study methods, which obviously they care nothing about. Why is that, do you suppose? Although upon further reflection, what they actually say to me is more like “So, you must be enjoying blissful freedom now!” referring to the fact that I graduated. I guess they think bar exams pass themselves. Like kidney stones.