Things I'm Worrying About Today

Today is the day I have to quit my temp job. I am scared. I'm technically only required to give 3 days notice, but I thought I'd be nice and give a week. The reasons I'm scared are as follows:

1. I have never quit a job before.
2. My boss is a screamer.
3. They might make me leave today instead of at the end of the week.
4. They might break down my will and make me stay forever.
5. I'm scared of the real estate thing, which is what I'm quitting to do.
6. I don't want to tell my boss that I'm quitting to do real estate because it seems like such a stupid thing to be doing when I say it out loud.

I guess I'll try to do it at 3. That seems like a good time.

I signed up for the real estate license exam this morning (on my cell, in my car, at 75mph - very exhilirating) and I'm taking it next Tuesday at noon. That gives me just over a week to figure out what's going to be tested and learn it. I'm hoping Barnes & Noble has some kind of book on that. I'll be buying it tonight, if it exists. Otherwise I'll be winging it.

I've started to feel sick about that OTHER exam. Not nearly as sick as I felt before I took it (for months upon months), but still, I've been experiencing some jaw clenching, tooth grinding, nausea, chills, and a general sense of Impending Doom.

Boyfriend and I set January 1st as the move-in date to our house. Notice I didn't say completion date. Oh no, we'll be attempting to finish just the first floor in the next two months. We'll be sleeping in the dining room, the front hall will become a makeshift closet, and everything else we own will be stacked to the ceiling in the living room and basement. But it will be so blissfully warm. Our boiler crapped out on us, so it's been about 50 degrees indoors for the last week, which doesn't really sound cold, but is. It's about 50 at my office too. Everyone here has space heaters except me, the lowly temp. I've been clutching little cups of crappy office coffee for warmth.

I'm starving and it's only 11:45. Stupid daylight savings!

Skinny, Depressed, and Worried

My school has posted a total of 5 jobs in Massachusetts for recent grads in October. One is for someone with 2-5 years of experience, like every other law job on earth. One is actually for a secretary, not a lawyer. One is in the western part of the state, which is so far away it might as well be in New York. That leaves two jobs, both of which are doing civil litigation, which may well turn out to be personal injury. I have applied for both of them, expressing my enthusiasm for whatever general thing it is they do. This is so goddamn depressing. Like really, really depressing. Like why do I bother to get out of bed and wash my hair when I'm just going to have to do it tomorrow so now it's been 5 days and I'm so filthy it's scary depressing. But, you know, mostly only theoretically since I go to work every day. So far.

In diet news, I've lost 8 pounds, so just 5 more to go. That's actually 4 pounds less than I've weighed since maybe high school, with the exception of the few months after my accident when I could only consume liquids and the time I had mono, both of which are exceptional diet aids. WW wants me to lose 10% of my starting weight, which seems a little excessive. I haven't weighed that little since probably middle school, and back then I didn't have boobs or a brain engorged by 7 years of expensive education (although I did have Big Hair and Huge Glasses - thank you early 90s!) I can't decide if I cheated or not though. The day I decided to go on a diet I happened to get on a scale and was 4 pounds heavier than normal. I don't know if that was a fluke or if the standard had actually been raised. So maybe I've only lost 4 pounds.

I've got my Halloween party to go to on Saturday. That should be a good time, but I'm more excited to give out candy on Tuesday, since I haven't gotten to do that since... 1997. God that's a long time. I'm worried though that people won't come to our house cause it's under construction and we don't have a porch light. We'll also be there working with power tools between visits. I have a string of pumpkin lights and a garland of bats and ghosts. I guess I could also make some cotton ball ghosts and get a pumpkin. I must find a way to make it clear that I have a bucketload of candy to give away to anyone who pounds on the door! I got the mini peanut butter cups too, which as far as I'm concerned are the best possible candy to receive. I'm worried that the two bags I got won't be enough though. I like how I can be simultaneously worried about two contradictory possibilities. Is that what they mean by thinking like a lawyer?

Arts & Crafts for Unemployed Lawyers

I think I dreamed I failed last night. I do not wish to discuss it further.

Now that I've got my Halloween costume squared away (going to be a zebra again - but with a new yarn tail! which I have yet to make, although I do have the yarn), is it to early to start thinking about Christmas? Clearly not, I suppose. I like to plan ahead in order to have as much of the perfect Martha-esque experience as possible.

I was thinking of making and/or baking something to send to Boyfriend's extended family this year, because last year, he wanted me to pick out actual presents for everyone (since he, as a male, was not born with a thoughtfulness gene), and yet, despite the fact that he's known these people his entire life, quite literally, he knew almost nothing about any of them. I got helpful tips like "Jimmy likes guns" and "Erica has two children, I think." We ended up sending out a lot of fruit baskets.

Now I think buying a tin of cookies is too impersonal for family, since you can go down to Costco and buy a gross of them in about 20 minutes, but I thought baking them (or something) might be ok. Has anyone ever done that successfully? Or received some that didn't make you think "Oh I see - she must be totally broke this year"?

Tune in tomorrow for another episode of Arts & Crafts for Unemployed Lawyers, where I'll try to decide whether the $70 cost of making 40 glitter-embossed holiday cards is excessive. Mostly I want the 600-degree heat gun. I haven't decide yet whether I'd use it for good, or for evil. Or have I }:)

Three Unrelated Thoughts

(1) Coordinating the Holidays

Ok, so my new plan is to go home the week before Thanksgiving and for all of Christmas. I'll stay here for actual Thanksgiving and New Year's. I will try to muster the fortitude to choke down whatever horrors cross my plate on Thanksgiving day. Horrors, which, in the past, have included such things as charcoal figs. Not just charred, but complete lumps of charcoal, most suitable for barbeque use. I will also volunteer to cook many, many side dishes, unless I can convince them to just go out to eat instead, which would be vastly preferable.

(2) Repressed 3rd Grade Memories

On a completely unrelated note, I've had this horrible song stuck in my head all morning. It's something they taught us in elementary school about a cat who falls off a roof and dies. I remember it made me cry hysterically and they had to send me to the nurse. It goes something along the lines of:

He broke his tail and all his whiskers
Meow meow meow
And his little solar plexus
Meow meow meow

Is that not the most awful thing to want to teach children? Oh look I found it - thank you Internet, for once again proving that I wasn' t just hallucinating.

(3) Why You Should Drink Boxed Wine

I've got such a freaking headache. We split a bottle of Prosecco last night. Vile, vile Prosecco. It tasted like fizzy rubbing alcohol mixed with Sweet & Low. Ugh. I think I may vomit just recalling it. I was suprised - Costco usually sells decent wine. It was even worse than the stuff we had at some restaurant a couple weeks ago. The first clue that was going to suck was when the bottle arrived with a picture of lobsters in beach chairs on the front. The flavor progression went something like green apple - earwax - vanilla. At least it didn't end on the earwax, but still, I don't know that that's what one necessarily seeks out in a Chardonnay.

Definitely Not Hot

How is it Tuesday already? And how can I be simultaneously upset that it's a whole day later than I thought, yet also upset that it's not 5pm yet?

My college reunion was good. It was freezing and pouring down rain though, so I think a lot of people might not have come because of that. Most people I went to school with are within driving distance of it still, so they get to make those kinds of last minute decisions, unlike those of us who have to buy our plane tickets months in advance. But a lot of people I wanted to see did show up. And they got fat. And bald. Which is all I could have ever hoped for }:)

What, Me Worry?

I think I may be the only person on earth who's not completely freaking out about bar results. (Except, obviously, for the people who did not take the July bar exam, but they hardly matter at all.) That's probably because I don't really know when we find out. I know they said something about November, but I don't know if they mean November 1st on the nose, or Novemberish if we feel like it, or the day before Thanksgiving just because we can muahaha, or what.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, I have no plans, because Boyfriend is being all weird about wanting to spend the holidays together. This sucks a lot, because Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I always go home, and we always have dinner with my whole family, and my mom is an awesome cook. Then the day after, we go shopping, which is also totally fabulous. Plus it's always a couple of days before or after my birthday.

Except this year, we are supposed to spend Thanksgiving "together," which will end up meaning actually with his family, which will involve going over to sit in a house with his family, who don't really care about me since we aren't married, who have no sense of tradition, and who can't cook in an 0migod-you-can't-be-serious-how-do-you-burn-water kind of way. If, IF!, we are even invited, because they can also get all weird and do things like cancel Christmas, which is what his Evil Stepmother did last year.

Yes, that's right, she disinvited her husband's children from her house at Christmas, because she wanted to spend it with only just her biological family. His father had to sneak off one afternoon and have Chinese food with them. This is total, complete bullshit.

Actually, I'm Vegetarian

So I've been doing the Weight Watchers thing because my body seemed rather inclined to hold on to the extra flesh I acquired during my If-It's-Salty-I'll-Dip-It-In-Fat-And-Eat-It bar exam days, despite the fact that I no longer dine exclusively on Coke, Babybel cheese, and Chex mix.

I'm doing this online only because, frankly, I'm scared the bigger ladies might yell at me if I tried to go to a meeting, since I'm only trying to lose like 10lbs.

I noticed on the WW message boards that they have this saying - "nothing tastes as good as being thin feels." That's the biggest load of crap. I've been thinking about it, and I can think of about 100 things that taste better than being thin, including, but not limited to:

1. the totally awesome corn pudding I had two weeks ago
2. salty things when you have PMS
3. cashews
4. any food you didn't have to cook yourself on a weeknight
5. mayonnaise
6. Coke
7. pizza
8. pina coladas
9. cupcakes
10. kittens

Er..wait...scratch that last one. Although kittens do belong on my Things That Make Me Happy list, along with everything else I listed. And I'm sure they would taste fantastic lightly salted and dipped in mayonnaise. Mmm...kittens...

God can you tell it's lunch time?

Stressed & Hungry

I have to talk to my temp boss today and I haaaayayayayate talking to bosses. I hate the powerlessness of the situation. They can decide to tell you yes or no and there's nothing you can do but quit and starve to death if you don't like their answer.

I just have to tell her that I need this Friday off, which I would have told her last Wednesday, except she made it sound like I wasn't going to be working here this week. Then yesterday she didn't mention till the end of the day that she wanted me back indefinitely. And then I felt bad mentioning that I need more time off cause I had just taken Monday off and I came in 2 hours late yesterday. I don't want to tell her why either and I know she's going to ask. I'm going to my 5 year college reunion. I need to leave early on Thursday too. Argh!

I don't know where this strange guilt comes from. It's not as though they have to pay me when I'm not here, and anyway it's not like they have more than maybe 2 days of work for me to do in a given week. But I still feel like I'm 2 years old and I've been coloring on the walls and I hear my parents come home and suddenly realize that I'm doing something bad.

I also have to email the real estate place I liked and tell them I want to work for them, but not until I at least have my license exam scheduled. They wanted me to quit my job asap and start getting trained. But I mean why on earth would I want to start working there until I can make some money doing it? So I'm not looking forward to writing that email either cause I know it's not what they want to hear. I guess I'm supposed to actually call them, but there's just no way that's going to happen.

God I just want to get to Iowa and get drunk. But even that is stressful cause I'm supposed to be on a diet, but like every meal out there is about 2000 calories by itself. I don't know if I should make an effort to eat nothing and be miserable the whole time or just say screw it and suck down bacon double cheeseburgers with thousand island dressing and onion rings on top (I know you know the one I mean) washed down with about 6 gallons of beer.

Adventures In Licensure

I had and interview for a real estate job with The Biggest Jerk On The Face Of The Earth on Friday night. He spent over 2 hours (on Friday night!!) telling me all the reasons he didn't think I could succeed as an agent and simultaneously going on about how great he was. He made me do role playing stuff, like trying to sell him a pen when he already had 5 of them, and pretending to be a crazy tenant in an apartment I wanted to show. I was like look buddy, I'm not gonna put some Kung Fu moves on some fucking psychopath to get people into an apartment. That's gotta be the landlord's problem. I wanted to leave after about half an hour. And then, at the end, he was like "So can you start Monday?" I was like umm...yeah...Let me get back to you on that.... I'm not even gonna email him though, cause I'm so scared he'd write back.

This morning I had an interview with a guy who was infinitely more sane. The place seemed nice enough, but it didn't make me want to leap for joy or anything. It was just kind of meh.

But then yesterday, I had an interview with this guy who was super nice and looked like a slightly chubby John Cusak. This, I feel, makes him the ideal boss. Plus he's got a girlfriend so I could have a total miniature office crush on him without having it get all weird. And I guess whatever he said about what the job would involve sounded good. Whatever. It gave me the warm fuzzies. I want to work at a place that gives me warm fuzzies.

So I think I may actually do this real estate thing. I wrote a letter to the Division of Professional Licensure to count my Property class as my education requirement. As soon as I get the waiver, I can sign up for the test. They give you your results and your license the day of. Rather unlike another profession I can think of... But we shouldn't speak of such things. November's getting awfully close.

I went home for the weekend to visit my grandma. They've got her pneumonia (which, I must point out, they gave her) under control and are phasing out the antibiotics. She was pretty incoherent on Saturday, but on Sunday she was much more with it. My mom was trying to ask her what she wanted for breakfast and she was like "I want pudding, but only so I can throw it at them!" Heh. She's getting no sleep and almost no food, so hopefully we can get her back to the nursing wing of her retirement community soon and then back into her apartment pretty quickly from there.

The Downward Spiral Of My Career

I got fingerprinted this morning. No, not because I finally resorted to selling my spare narcotics to the neighborhood children. I applied for a job at the IRS. No, not a law job, although technically I suppose all their jobs involve tax law to some degree. No, the job I applied for is basically glorified telemarketing. I would have to sit in some warehouse in the middle of nowhere wearing a headset and having people call up and scream at me. All this, for $14.49/hour. And yet, boy howdy is this a popular position. They must have processed 500 people today, and I don't even know if today is the only day they're doing it. They're only looking for 50 people. I missed half a day of work to go.

The lady who fingerprinted me remarked on the clearness of my prints. She told me to avoid becoming a criminal. I told her I was trying.

Upon reaching work, I decided I would become a real estate agent. The agencies are always fishing for fresh meat on the university job boards, so I sent my resume to 6 places. One of them already called back and wants to interview me. I don't forsee getting a temp job for next week, so I'm doing that on Monday afternoon. That gives me 4 days to figure out whether or not I actually want to be a real estate agent. If anyone has any good "Oh god don't do that!" real estate horror stories, please relate them to me before Monday.

Getting a real estate license is kind of exciting though, in that it's the one way I could ever put my Property class to use (other than in hunting disputes over who gets the dead fox.) Here, apparently, you can get a sales license just by taking Property at a law school & passing some test. The test, not being administered by lawyers, can't be that hard.

The drawback, I suppose, is that I'm pretty sure you don't get paid. As I understand it, you get a commission and that's it. I don't know that I would necessarily like working and not getting paid. I think you have to pay for all sorts of outlandish stuff too. Kind of like becoming an Avon lady. Hmm... yeah... maybe I should be an Avon lady......... Or - OR! - I could PRETEND to be an Avon lady and really just sell drugs out of my little makeup kit! Yeah buddy! That's where the money is!

Sweet, Sweet Freedom

My boss called me in to her office this afternoon and was asking me things like "How many of these have you done?" and "How long do they take you?" and adding up the time and I was FLIPPING OUT because I'm always totally paranoid that anywhere I'm working monitors internet use and is going to fire me. So I totally thought she was going to yell at me for being a lazy slacker leech who's bleeding their company dry. But instead she said she was ever so sorry, but they just don't have as much work as she thought they would, and they're probably not going to need me after this week.

Hooray!!! Finally!!! I'm free!!! So very nearly free!!!

After I assured her that no, no, that's ok, that's why they call us temps, while restraining the near-uncontrolable urge to jump for joy, I called up both my other agencies and told them to find me something that pays a living wage, for the love of god, and is related to the law. They seemed fairly receptive to the idea. This is good. Very, very good.

I Blame the Birth Control

I would also like to inform the world that I watched Dances With Wolves again this weekend and could not stop sobbing the entire time. It was the 4 hour version too, so it took some stamina. I cried for the first 3 hours because I knew they were going to shoot the horse. I left the room for the hour when I thought the horse thing might be. I returned to the room well after I knew it was over, sat down, and immediately burst into great honking drooling sobs because I knew the horse was dead.

I also got a little weepy watching a CSI where the bad guy broke in and bludgeoned a family that was going to sit down and watch a movie together. The thing that really got me was when he smashed up their bowl of popcorn. I just found that excessive.

I feel that this is one small step away from crying at that depression commercial, which, by the way, I have preemptively stopped watching when it comes on, just in case.

Paradoxically, I'm itching to go see Saw 3 the second it comes out. Those people don't have families I guess. Or horses.

---

I guess my Grandma may be dying. She went to the hospital for something else, but now she has pneumonia. This is very, very bad. I do not want to be at work right now.

Bizarre Dream

Oh god I just remembered I had the weirdest dream the other night. Well, not really weird for me, because I consistently have the weirdest dreams ever, but weird, perhaps to one of the subjects.

So I was in this giant house with a ton of windows and there was some psycho in a scary mask trying to get in (I watched a couple of episodes of CSI: Miami right before bed) and he was running to all the doors and windows trying to get in and I would have to run to the same one and lock it really quick. It was like literally the whole first floor was no walls - just all windows and glass doors. This is EXACTLY why I hate houses with a ton of windows. Don't people know that's just what the killer outside is waiting for?? So anyway, I knew it was just a matter of time before he realized he could just break through the glass and kill me. But then Boyfriend appeared and was saying I had to make dinner cause we had houseguests, and I was like well fine, whatever, if they want to die we can all just die. So I went to make dinner, but it wasn't my house and there was no food, but there was junk just absolutely everywhere, and at one point I found a frying pan with some vegetables sitting in it and I was like oh good, I can use this! So I made it into a totally gross omelette thing. But then as soon as it was ready the producers showed up and whisked me away because we were on some reality show and when we went outside we were in Paris. And that's when I realized that two of the people at my house were Miss Danielle (that is the weird part - no idea why you were in my dream!) and her husband and we had to do this fashion show thing. And she was wearing this totally cute blue Jackie O suit with a little hat and I was like aggh! I didn't know we were doing this! Was I supposed to sew something? What am I supposed to do! (I obviously also watched Project Runway before bed) so anyway I ended up just wearing whatever I was wearing and trying to work it like I meant to be wearing it. And then I woke up, so I don't know who won, but it was clearly not going to be me.

That's not even that weird though. The next night, I had this total epic-length dream that I was cheating on Boyfriend with this Chinese plumber who didn't speak any English and I was trying to break up with the guy but he couldn't understand me. THAT was weird.

Things That Suck

I'm in the middle of a big fight with Boyfriend, but the UPS people just delivered our shiny new Tivo (praisebetotivo) and I want to set it up real bad. But I can't because I'm stuck hiding in my office until he apologizes. Stupid jerk. And how is it that I ended up in my office surrounded by the BarBri books I haven't returned yet and he ended up in the room with the tv in it? This is not fair at all.

My dress arrived on Friday and it was a Total Fake. I am not pleased. I emailed the lady a polite note expressing my regret that she had accidentally sent me a Total Fake and inquiring as to how quickly I was to receive me Full Refund. She did, at least, respond with her mailing address so I can sending the Total Fake Piece of Crap back to her. I am just ITCHING to write a letter under our fabulous consumer protection law informing her that I'll be suing her in Massachusetts in 30 days so she'd better go ahead and buy her plane tickets now. I'm trying to keep things civil until absolutely necessary though. But I might write it later this afternoon for just in case. Grr.

I so want to tell you the story of When Antibiotics Go Wrong - At The Mall Edition, but I will spare you the details and just let you imagine. Suffice it to say that one moment, I was in line at Sephora set to buy something, and the next, I was flinging my items to the side and searching the halls desperately for a ladies room or reasonable equivalent (e.g., men's room, hardware store with sample fixtures, potted plant, dimly lit corner, etc.) For 24 hours. And I will not be taking more of the antibiotics, oh no, I will not, which means I will probably develop flesh eating bacteria, and my jaw will fall off. So watch for that in a future post.

Unemployed & On Drugs

I'm back at work today and I feel pretty crappy. Everyone is being really nice. I told them it was my wisdom teeth because it's so godforesaken embarassing that I lost a real tooth. The receptionist offered to make me tea. If only they paid me more and it wasn't so far away, this would be a decent job.

I feel kind of bad that I haven't actually worked at all this week. Although I was marginally helpful half an hour ago. The head engineer for some reason got it in his head a few weeks ago that I would know how to password protect cells in Excel. I looked it up under help and managed to do it. Now I'm like the Excel guru or something and the engineers will call me up and be like "How do you do weird complicated thing X?" and I am like hmm...let me walk you through it and I open up Help and read it to them. Heh.

Crises du jour: I've got a Halloween party to prepare for and no good costume ideas. My fallback costume is a zebra, but everyone's seen that before. I was thinking of making Boyfriend be a ninja. I got a good stolen idea from http://bloggingprojectrunway.blogspot.com this morning that we could be Angela & Jeffrey. That would be cool, but it seems like it would require moderately high effort, which I'm not feeling at the moment. That's my favorite idea so far though. Thoughts?

Oprah + Vicodin = Good Times Indeed

I had my surgery this morning. It was surprisingly fast. I feel ok so far, but the novacaine might still be working. I've got this long skinny velcro ice pack thing wrapped around my head under my chin like in the cartoons. V. attractive. The one dark cloud was that one of the assistants went out to the waiting room while they were working on me and innocently asked Boyfriend if I had brought my pills with me, then took my 1 remaining Ambien and Threw It Away! F* you buddy! I PAID for that! Not happy at all.

Now I have to get up the inner strength to battle my worthless insurance company to reimburse me for this. I can't tell you how much I don't want to have to deal with this crap again. It took me a whole entire year, about 100 phone calls, and getting the state insurance commission involved to get them to pay me anything when I first had my accident.

I didn't win my second dress last night, but that's ok because it wasn't as cute as the one I did get. Better still, Boyfriend said some things that made it sound like he might buy me my purse for our anniversary =) He had said last Xmas that he would get me one, but I wouldn't let him cause they're so expensive. But then my friend's boyfriend just bought her this monster freaking Chanel purse for their anniversary and I suddenly have total all-consuming purse envy. Plus if he can find it online for cheap I won't feel so bad. And anyway he is extremely gainfully employed.

What do you think: short straps or long straps?

This is why I became a lawyer by the way. I wanted to buy nice shoes and things. And a horse. I've got to put the horse off a few more years though.

Retail Therapy

Why does shopping cure all ills? I don't have the answer to that, but I do feel about 5000% better than I did before I bought this fabulous dress (on eBay of course - I'm obviously still unemployed.) I'd say the breakdown of my elation is approximately 50% the thrill of something pretty winging its way to me even as I type, and 50% the overwhelming joy of getting something I like for 60% off retail. Ahhh god... I love you eBay...

I think I might win another dress later too. Goody goody. Also I was very good and avoided bidding on the Marc Jacobs bags because they don't have the exact one I want. Although black might be more practical than purple. And eBay purses make me nervous anyway.

Today is my I'm Shopping Because I Have To Have Scary Dental Surgery Tomorrow day, in case you couldn't tell.

No new job news. I applied to two new places this afternoon, but they're both big firms, so although they have advertised openings, I know I'm not their target audience. Bleh. Maybe I should buy a purse.

I Hate/Love The Internet

Wow so it turns out the ladies over at the Weight Watchers message boards are a bunch of severe bitches. I feel no need to elaborate.

In other news, I was excited mere moments ago to discover that my darling Bluefly seems to now be selling my underwear for rather less than I have been paying for it. The only question now is how many pairs will I buy when I can't really afford to buy any at all. But at the same time, how can I afford not to buy any when they're practically giving them away? Ahh...the Cosabella paradox...

It's an L not an N, moron!

I chickened out of quitting my temp job. A steady income is a steady income, even if that income would put me below the poverty line if I just had a couple more children. Or, you know, any. My boss has disappeared too, so I haven't been able to send in my timesheet, which means I won't be getting paid this week.

No news still from the real estate firm. I'm starting to feel like maybe they misspelled my email address because I have what is apparently a difficult last name. I hate that. I don't know why people get so lazy when they're dealing with something so personal. I mean is it like, "Hmm, I see her name is Cathrine. I have a friend named Kathryn. I'll just spell it that way instead." Or what??? I always make an effort to doublecheck a name whenever I send anything, but apparently no one else can be bothered because people are constantly sending emails to nowhere when they mean to send them to me. And I mean on most email programs the name pops up halfway through once you've dealt with the person before, so you have to make a conscious decision to override it and be like "Oh god, not that name again, I'm tired of that one, let's just substitute an 'n' here and see what happens."

I just sent out thank you emails to all the people I met at my interview on Friday. I don't normally go in for that whole thing, but I really really want this job. Or any job.

I've been slacking off in the job search because of those two interviews last week. I only applied to one new job, and that was at the IRS, so obviously I have no chance. I haven't done a thing with that stupid targeted mailing yet either. It just all seems so hopeless, even after the interviews. Every job posting I see is for civil litigation, which I would totally suck at and hate. /sigh/